I don't remember it all that well.
I was only four.
I remember certain things though.
I remember when my mom had surgery.
I remember her coming home and sitting on the couch. She would have a bucket in her hand with blood in it. Blood that she threw up and for blood that she would throw up.
I remember that she lost all her hair and she started wearing hats. She wore hats and she wore a wig.
I remember her hair growing back grey.
Those are the things that I remember.
Everything else that may have happened, my brain evidently didn't obtain.
As I've grown older, I've come to the realization that what I thought hadn't been a big deal at the time really actually was.
You see, cancer is dangerous just like other diseases.
Some of the most healthiest people that I have known have been diagnosed with a life threatening disease.
It doesn't make that much sense.
I wouldn't be surprised if everyone that ends up reading this post has lost somebody, walked with somebody, or is walking with somebody that they love who is going through something similar.
It can be scary.
It can be maddening.
It can be scary and maddening because it's confusing.
It's confusing because we don't understand it.
Why do bad things happen to people who have such a good relationship with Jesus?
Let's look at Matthew 13 starting in verse 3.
The Parable of the Sower
"Then he told them many things in parables, saying: 'A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, many fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on a rocky place, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on the good soil, where it produced a crop- a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.'" Matthew 13:3-9
Now skip ahead a bit to Matthew 13:18.
"'Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.'" Matthew 13:18-22
Read Matthew 13:20-21 again. It says,
"'The seed falling on rocky ground refers to sometime who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.'"
Read the last sentence of that passage again.
Trouble or persecution comes BECAUSE OF THE WORD.
The truth is that the devil doesn't like it when you are faithful to God and are engulfed in the word.
According to scripture, if troubles come your way it is because the devil is trying to choke the word of God out of you.
Now Matthew 13:22 says, "'The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.'"
The hardships that we go through and the sicknesses that we fight is the devil trying to choke the word of God out of us.
I'm not saying that I have the whole thing figured out, I'm just saying that that's what scripture says and it's what I believe.
The devil wants these things to turn you away from God and to get you to stop relying on Him.
They don't happen because God wants to teach you something. If you learn from it, that's great. If it's used for God's glory and to further His kingdom, that's crazy awesome.
But God loves us so much that He allows us to choose whether or not we will let Him be our rock.
He wants us to choose Him.
Don't let the devil and your lack of understanding get the best of your relationship with God.
Don't turn from Him. Allow Him to fill you up even when you are in your lowest of lows. Let Him be your hope.
Let Him walk with you through the shadow of death and be your stronghold.
Keep faith and remain confident in Him even when things don't make all that much sense.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." -Psalms 23:4
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